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by by Fred Night - Port Orange, Florida - USA

The kayaks that Barnaby Wainfan created with his daughters (Kayaks for the girls) fascinated me. They seemed so sleek in the water. On further examination Barnaby Wainfan is a legend in aircraft design and his stealth like lifting wing. WOW, I would love to make a stealth kayak to paddle among the mangroves. And so it begins.

The Wainfan garage is dubbed the” Mystery Boat Works” I am not allowed to take over our garage.  My boat works are on the driveway and under a stretched tarp. I now christen this area as ”area x”. That covers the real important stuff now on to the stealth kayak.

In building Love bug I used the 4x8 sheets of door skin. The big sheets are still at Home Depot but not at my Lowes. I must not reveal too much information but that will be the material of choice for the stealth kayak. Barnaby Wainfan is close to the vest about his sleek kayaks but he does reveal the use of “transverse stiffeners” in his latest creation. Now if I can just figure out what that means I will have half of the equation.

My kayak models are from cereal boxes and looking at them you discover new meaning for the term ‘skunkworks’. The models point me in the right direction. I have to find a way to convert the model into reality.

If my calculations are correct this should take a sheet and a half of door skin and a lot of glue. This creation belongs in HANNU’S BOATYARD for the full use of material.

This makes use of the full sheet of plywood. It seems so simple, set some braces and pull the sides together and WAALA: there it is in all its glory.

Well, maybe this belongs in the ‘skunkworks”. That is the value of using ‘duck tape’.

No pain, no gain. Back to the drawing board. Keep a stiff upper lip Rome was not built in a day. Lose lips sink ships. Close but no cigar. Live and learn. GO SIT IN THE MOANING CHAIR.

Okay maybe I can salvage this stealth kayak by looking to KEN SIMPSON of the famous PORTABLE BOAT PLANS OF ARIZONA. This is a Florida kayak but if I use part of this design for a front module and part for a back module and build a center module then I will have a very portable kayak in three modules.

First disassemble then cut a little here and a little there and more tape and maybe we have a rear module. It seems to work and it looks stealthy. The front module must match the rear module in width and depth.

The front and rear modules are taking form in area X.  I must be careful of satellite flyover. No I don’t, this is a stealth kayak, and no one can spot it as a kayak, maybe a soapbox derby racer.

This is becoming complex; it is a lot of work to make a stealth kayak. Andy Linn

Makes his little crazy boat tik-tak with kids and all goes smooth. Maybe I need some kids to help out an old ‘papaw’.

I have completed the secret plans from NSA; CIA; FBI; TSA and Disney. I ended up with a needle nose front of 66 inches, and a pointy backend of 44 inches. This is joined by a spacious mid cabin of 48 inches to carry the crew. This should join together in a stealthy configuration. Whoa, this is a long momma-lubby. Next is to finish the parts and hook them together as my Stealth Yak.

I used 3 bolts at each end of the center module to tie every thing together. Now it looks like a pointy lizard that swallowed a large something. The answer is magic paint. As every boat builder knows paint can stop leaks, stiffen plywood, mask mistakes, cover up screw-ups, and fool everyone. I just happen to have many gallons of paint rescued from the mismatch bin at Lowe’s. Since this is a Stealth Yak maybe it should be government gray or marine green or air force blue or cameo-coded for stealth. I would use invisible paint like Wonder Woman uses on her aircraft but then the Duckworks fans could not share in my stealthy creation.

I complete my secret paint job and test my kayak in a secret lab (swimming pool). A small leak in the forward module sends my craft back to area X. I hope another coat of secret sauce (paint) will cure my leaky front end. If not who cares, the pilot will be in the middle section. The middle module has pool noodle gunnels to soften any enemy radar and paddle strokes.

I make a date with my first mate to serve as test pilot. She tries out the test pilot helmet but claims it is not needed, as she will not take the Stealth Yak up on plane. The front module stays dry and what we can see of the stealthy craft appears to float and maneuver well. Only one man and three dogs appeared in the test area. They were all sworn to silence and allowed to leave. This fun craft will not be seen on the east coast of Florida due to its stealthy design but it was a joy to build. The first mate calls it a cool boat and has nicknamed it yakety yak from the famous song by the COASTERS (ask grandpa).

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